Bazzy sure is enjoying our cooler and drier weather today. He's seven months old and seems to be entering his rebellious stage. He's not mean or anything,au contraire, he just flops himself down in peaceful protest to whatever it is that I want him to do. I suppose it's a good thing he doesn't have access to my bras and/or matches...or else things could turn ugly real quick around here.

Another day older and deeper in debt...

But I got a new camera & a copy of "Tim & Eric's Awesome Show! Great Job!" (as seen on t.v. and in the picture below). If you haven't seen it run, don't walk, to your nearest cartoon network endowed television or adultswim.com. This show includes my very favorite John C. Riley sketches in the entire world. I get giggly just thinking about it. Dumb, but totally hilarious...

Thanks for the many birthday wishes that have come my way. It truly has been a great weekend filled with the added extra joys of making some really cool film junkie friends; devouring a key lime birthday pie; finding a mysterious salsa pepper plant on my porch; sharing happy fun times with Joey (true turkish coffee kicks ass); watching way too many horror flicks (I'd recommend "Otis" & "Funny Games", but stay far far away from "The Brink," "Freakshow," & "Catacombs") & having it all topped off with Crab Cakes Benedict from Augusta. Mmmm...cakes. However, let me add that "Funny Games" is not funny at all. It made me think of the time I watched "My Girl" with McCauley Caulkin. I was like, I dunno, ten years old at the most,when I innocently pulled it off the COMEDY shelf at my local video store. Sure enough, I ended up crying my eyes out for three days b/c "My Girl" wasn't properly advertised as "My Dead Girl."

Great Job!

Published aereal photos of I.C. Floody McFlood Flood

This slideshow was published in today's Daily Iowan (not to be confused with Milo's favorite journalistic project: the Daily Milowan). All I can say is "Wowswers."

Where, oh where, did my ear go?

I found this on McSweeney's this morning and I totally dig it!









(http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/6/13richardsonbryan.html)

VAN GOGH'S EARS.
BY MIKE RICHARDSON-BRYAN
- - - -

LEFT EAR: Owww!

RIGHT EAR: What's wrong?

LEFT EAR: He poked me with the brush.

RIGHT EAR: Oh, boohoo.

LEFT EAR: It really hurt!

RIGHT EAR: Give the man a break. He's been upset since that ugly scene with Paul.

LEFT EAR: Whatever. What's he up to today, anyway?

RIGHT EAR: Still life. Oil on canvas. Sunflowers.

LEFT EAR: More sunflowers? What is it with all the sunflowers? They're way too bright.

RIGHT EAR: And it's about time, too. Have you forgotten how drab everything was back in Nuenen? He might as well have painted manure. Of course, bright colors wouldn't have done his subjects any favors, either. If I never see another family of miserable peasants stuffing their faces with potatoes, it'll be too soon.

LEFT EAR: I miss the drab. He did some good work in drab. He's just trying to fit in with this trendy Arles crowd now.

RIGHT EAR: Well, he's growing as an artist, and there's no growth without change. And just look at him go! Those brushstrokes—so short and sharp, like the crack of a riding crop. And where are the lines? They're nowhere, my friend, that's where. It's all about color now, all about contrast. And that texture, like the frosting on a fancy cake ...

LEFT EAR: I thought we agreed not to talk about food.

RIGHT EAR: My mistake, my mistake. But, mark my words, he's going places.

LEFT EAR: If you say so. I just don't see anyone in their right mind paying money for a painting of overgrown daisies.

RIGHT EAR: It's not about the money; it's about the art.

LEFT EAR: Yeah, you remember that the next time he can't afford tobacco and ends up fishing a damp butt out of the gutter.

RIGHT EAR: Have faith, Lefty. Have faith.

LEFT EAR: Owww!

RIGHT EAR: What now?

LEFT EAR: He did it again. And that was no accident. He's out to get me.

RIGHT EAR: That's crazy talk. He wouldn't hurt us.

LEFT EAR: Oh, really? Have you forgotten about that girl with the funny name in Etten? One minute her parents are telling him where to go, and the next he's holding his left hand in the fire. His own hand! I can still smell the burning flesh.

RIGHT EAR: He was just a kid then, and he was in love. He's older now, more mature.

LEFT EAR: He eats paint!

RIGHT EAR: He only did that once.

LEFT EAR: Once was enough. Remember the cramps? And the diarrhea? Oh, God, the diarrhea. I thought he was going to turn himself inside out.

RIGHT EAR: Yeah, thanks for the mental picture.

LEFT EAR: Owww!

RIGHT EAR: Oh, for crying out loud.

LEFT EAR: I can't take much more of this!

RIGHT EAR: Just relax, OK? This evening, Paul will come over, they'll knock back some absinthe and patch things up, and everything will be fine. You'll see.

(Pause.)

RIGHT EAR: Hey, is he crying? Why is he crying all of a sudden?

LEFT EAR: I don't know, but I'm sick of his mood swings. He's up, he's down, he's up, he's down. It's exhausting.

RIGHT EAR: All artists are temperamental. It's part of the creative process.

LEFT EAR: Well, I wish ... What's he doing now? Is that a straight razor?

RIGHT EAR: Hmm, must be time for a shave.

LEFT EAR: At this hour?

RIGHT EAR: Well, what else—

LEFT EAR: Oh, no! This is it!

RIGHT EAR: Will you please get ahold of—holy crap!

LEFT EAR: Aiiiggghhh!

RIGHT EAR: Stop! For the love of God, stop!

LEFT EAR: Arrrrrggggghhhhh!

RIGHT EAR: This is not happening! This is not happening!

LEFT EAR: Aiiiggghhh!

RIGHT EAR: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee ... uhhh ... Blessed art the fruit of thy womb, such as ... uhhh ... apples and oranges and ... uhhh ... persimmons?

(Pause.)

RIGHT EAR: Lefty? Are you there, Lefty? Can you hear me?

(Pause.)

RIGHT EAR: Wow. I mean, wow. That was just ... wow. I did not see that coming.

LEFT HAND: I did.

Floody McFlood Flood Pix

So, we've received good news that the worst has passed. I went out on my bike this afternoon and took some pix:

Reaching out for the Green Light: Jan & Jenn's Great Gatsby Extravaganza

In response to all the downers over the past few months in the I.C. area (can you say "Valley of Ashes?"), my good pal, Jan, and I are going to throw a ritzy Great Gatsby Extravaganza to take everyone's mind off of the ubiquitious icky-craps. I've always dreamt of throwing this type of shin-dig! We're going to take our time, brush up on our F. Scott, and really make this a party to remember--it will invoke the Cat's Meow, the Cat's Pajamas, and the better part of a hive of Bees' Knees. All I can say is - all you Cats and Molls out there better sharpen up those croquet mallets and get ready to down some bubbly gigglejuice. It's gonna be swell.

This morning I started researching Roaring 20's vocab on the internets and here's what I've found thus far:

Alderman - A man's pot belly.
All Wet - Describes an erroneous idea or individual, as in, "he’s all wet."
Applesauce - an explative; same as horsefeathers, As in "Ah applesauce!"
Bangtails - Racehorses.
Be On The Nut - To be broke.
Bean-shooter - Gun.
Beef - Problem.
Bee’s Knees - An extraordinary person, thing, idea; the ultimate.
Big Cheese - The most important or influential person; boss. Same as big shot.
Bluenose - An excessively puritanical person, a prude.
Bump Off - To murder, To kill.
Cake-Eater - An effete ladies’ man, or someone who attends tea parties.
Carry a Torch - To have a crush on someone.
Cat - A man.
Cat’s Meow - Something splendid or stylish; similar to bee’s knees.
Cat’s Pajamas - Same as cat’s meow.
Cheaters - Eyeglasses.
Crush - An infatuation.
Darb - An excellent person or thing (as in "the Darb" - a person with money who can be relied on to pay the check).
Dogs - feet.
Drugstore Cowboy - a guy that hangs around on a street corner trying to pick up girls
Dumb Dora - a stupid female.
Fall Guy - Victim of a frame.
Flapper - A stylish, brash, hedonistic young woman with short skirts and shorter hair.
Flat Tire - A dull witted, insipid, disappointing date. Same as pill, pickle, drag, rag, oilcan.
Frame - To give false evidence, to set up someone.
Gams - A woman’s legs.
Giggle Water - An intoxicating beverage; alcohol.
Gin Mill - An establishment where hard liquor is sold; bar.
Hard Boiled - a tough, strong guy.
Heebie-Jeebies - The jitters.
High-Hat - To snub.
Hooch - Bootleg liquor
Hoofer - Dancer.
Horsefeathers - an explative; same usage as applesauce.
Hotsy-Totsy - Pleasing.
Jake - OK, as in, "Everything is Jake."
Jalopy - Old car.
Joint - A club, usually selling alcohol.
Keen - Attractive or appealing.
Kisser - Mouth.
Line - Insincere flattery.
Lounge Lizard - a guy that is sexually active.
Moll - A gangster’s girl.
Neck - Kissing with passion.
Ossified - a drunk person.
Pinch - To arrest.
Pushover - A person easily convinced or seduced.
Ritzy - Elegant (from the hotel).
Scram - Ask someone to leave immediately.
Sheba - A woman with sex appeal (from the move Queen of Sheba, played by Clara Bow).
Sheik - A man with sex appeal (from the Valentino movies).
Speakeasy - An illicit bar selling bootleg liquor.
Spiffy - An elegant appearance.
Struggle Buggy - the backseat of a car.
Stuck On - Having a crush on.
Swanky - Ritzy.
Swell - Wonderful. Also: a rich man.
Take for a Ride - To drive off with someone in order to bump them off.
Torpedo - A hired gun.
Whoopee - To have a good time!

Zephyr

My husband's store is underwater!!! The levee broke before they got the production area cleaned out so basically they've lost everything. Here's hoping he gets to keep his job. If not, that might mean permanent evacuation from Iowa City for the Laskowski family.

This flood thing sucks. We've been busy sandbagging (trying to save Zephyr store #2), riding our bikes, gawking and taking photographs. I'll try and post the photos soon, but my digital camera pooped out on me so have to go the old-fashioned route.

We felt like ants yesterday. We were working with a group of about fifty people...none of which were "in charge" or who actually knew one another. So we just worked together to sandbag the building which will probably be hit by at least three feet of water today. Who knows how much higher it's going to get!? It was so strange working with so many people. I'm still reeling at how quickly we worked and what a great feeling of accomplishment we shared when we finished the building. None of us had ever even been in a flooded area before, but somehow our instincts kicked in and we figured out how to save the fort. I learned a lot about people yesterday and it was a good feeling for an old jaded cynic like myself. I'm still reflecting on it all.

We're having sort of a sad father's day without the boy. He's visiting both sets of grandparents until June 28th. Fortunately for him he's missing all the proverbial waterworks. He hates storms, so I'm glad he's not having to witness any of this. He's been through enough over the past twelve months...I'm glad he doesn't have to see his favorite city fighting to *ahem* stay afloat.

The Passenger

Last night I dreamt of seeing you in a non-descript airport. For some reason I told the bartender your name was Liam (what an odd little lie) as I hopped onto a skateboard and clumsily made my way through the hardwood terminal. You were so old; almost unidentifiable except for those scuffed black frames permanently perched upon your nose.

I watched you carry a stretcher on your back, set it down with your signature gentle touch, and talk to two uniformed policemen. I couldn't hear what you were saying, but I could tell you were cautiously excited about meeting your pregnant wife. I wondered why she was on a plane and why you were in the airport?

When you finally saw me and my skateboard, you smiled approvingly and waved. My heart raced; spurred on by Regret and Hope's spontaneous tug-of-war. I slowly lost you in the crowd as I realized I'd never paid for my beer.