The Ultimate Juxtaposition

Wow, so much has happened since I last blogged. Nothing seems more poignant than my son losing another friend. He was close with Seth Sueppel, one of the five family members brutually (and I can not stress that enough) murdered by his father on Easter Sunday. I can not express how surreal all of this has been. I'm really happy with the Longfellow Elementary School and how they've helped the kids get through the week after losing a teacher's aid (Sheryl Sueppel) and a student (Seth) from Milo's class, plus the sweetest kindergartner, Mira, and the eldest boy, Ethan. This is a small school and the loss was horrific. I mean, really, how can we explain this to our kids?

Given Milo's on-going anxiety over Henry's death 9 months ago, I did the best I could and I had to give him all the facts. Now that I've told him, I'm not so sure it was the right thing to do. But I didn't give him enough info last time and I'm not sure he'll ever heal from that, so I didn't want to make the same mistake 2x.

Milo came out of school today and asked to go to the visitation. I was surprised. He broke down crying and he really wanted to go, so we collected Joe from work and went straight to the catholic church. There's nothing quite like viewing two large and four small caskets surrounded by numerous pictures of the happy family. It was the ultimate juxtapostion. Childrens' art work and musical instruments of choice basking in the blinding reflection of the shiny white caskets...our kids gently reaching out through their tears to gently touch the caskets as if not knowing what else to do. And then the horrific moment of having to pass the container holding whatever remains were left of the father/murderer who smiled happily in the hundreds of pictures posted to imprint upon the viewer the importance of remembering the occupants of these six closed caskets as a family. As I said: the ultimate juxtapostion.

I was proud of Milo. He met Seth's paternal grandparents, shook the grandfather's hand, and told him he was sorry for his losses. The grandfather shared with JOe and I that another member of their class told him he hoped he never had to go through something like this. The grandfather responded in kind, "Well, Son, I hope you never have to go through something like this either." I mean, really, what can you say at that point?

It was especially hard on Milo to hear, "They're all in a better place, Our Angels." Many people said this, but it doesn't make much sense to a kid who doesn't believe in God. I was just glad, for once, that he didn't feel the need to argue the existance of heaven and/or God with the believers. It was just way too much. But isn't it strange that a man killed his entire family because he was too embarrassed/stressed over a white collar embezzlement scandal and people tended to agree with his sentiment: well, they're in a better place. I'm trying not to be too judgmental, but who is he to say that these beautiful kids who were playing on the playground last week are better off beaten to death beyond recognition?

As I said: the ultimate juxtapostion. Sorry for the depressing post, but I'm trying to get my head around all of this.